


Haunting Memories

by BSBLover2538



Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Come Eating, Healing, Healing Sex, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Memories, Past Rape/Non-con, Repressed Memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-09-27 07:16:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20403802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BSBLover2538/pseuds/BSBLover2538
Summary: AJ and Kevin are a couple, but Kevin is still healing from something that happened to him a year ago. Memories flood and AJ helps his lover out when things get interrupted.





	Haunting Memories

The bedroom door shut, and two sets of panting moans were heard as Kevin and AJ made out, hot and heavily. The younger man was working on getting Kevin undressed while Kevin focused on their dueling tongues. The two had been dating for a couple of months, and had finally worked up to having sex for the first time tonight. AJ knew that he had to slow things down, and ran his hands from Kevin’s chest into his hair. 

“Baby….we gotta slow” AJ whispered as he broke the kiss, and Kevin whined softly. It had been his fault that they hadn’t had sex till now, and Kevin wanted it more than he ever thought. AJ knew what had happened, so he knew that the older man needed to slow down. 

“But….” AJ silenced the protest with another kiss, and ran his hands back down Kevin’s body. 

“Let’s get on the bed and go from there” Kevin nodded, and laid back against the pillows. AJ nimbly undressed himself, before going down to Kevin’s pants and looking up at the green-eyed man. 

“Can I” was the silent question in AJ’s eyes, and Kevin nodded, lifting up. AJ got the trousers off, along with the boxers. Kevin’s cock sprang free, and it was already pretty hard and pre had built up at the tip. AJ leaned down and swiped the pre with his tongue, and Kevin cried out, arching up. 

“Fuck shit!” he exclaimed, and AJ smirked lightly, before swiping it with his finger, and putting the same finger to Kevin’s lips. 

“Wanna taste baby?” Kevin poked his own tongue out, and licked AJ’s finger, tasting himself. He screwed his face up, and poked his tongue back out. 

“Don’t like that” he whimpered, and AJ smiled softly. He had a feeling that Kevin wasn’t much of a cock sucker, not like he was. 

“That’s okay baby, I know I am the cock sucker out of the two of us. I know you love me on your cock” Kevin grinned and nodded. Tonight would be the first time that he had penetrative sex since _ that  _ night. He had told AJ he would be okay, but he really wasn’t sure. 

AJ continued lightly teasing and prepping Kevin, before grabbing the lube and coating his cock, which was thick and pulsating. The younger man eyed Kevin, who had kept an eye on his cock the entire time. 

“You sure you’re ready Kev?” AJ asked, and Kevin nodded resolutely. AJ inclined his head, and got on top of Kevin. He was still leery, and had a feeling how the night would end. He lined his cock up and lightly pushed into Kevin’s widened hole. 

“Shit!” Kevin cried out as AJ pushed into his hole for the first time. The memories had started creeping, but Kevin pushed them out the best he could. AJ pushed in and after a few minutes, had his cock fully in Kevin’s hole. He started pushing in and out, going slow. 

“Mmm” AJ groaned as he felt his cock thickening in Kevin’s hole. He was lost in the moment, and didn’t see the tears forming in Kevin’s eyes. AJ didn’t catch the panicked look in Kevin’s eyes till he heard the whimper and cry. 

“No, no, please no!” Kevin cried out, and AJ looked down, and immediately pulled out, pulling Kevin into his arms. The older man was lost in a memory, and AJ cursed himself. 

“Kev, it’s not real. It’s just you and me, I’m not him. Baby, open your eyes, please baby please” AJ rocked Kevin as he thrashed and tried to become smaller, begging AJ to stop, that he didn’t want it. 

“Please I’ll do anything, just stop” Kevin begged brokenly, tears coming out of his eyes. AJ watched heartbroken, knowing that he had to let Kevin come out of this himself. He kept rocking Kevin, keeping the older man close. 

A few minutes later, Kevin went limp and silent, repeating “no please no” in a monotone voice. AJ looked at the older man, into his eyes. He could see Kevin warring with himself. AJ knew that he had to try and get Kevin out of the memory. 

“Kevin, it’s AJ. I’m right here, and we are in my bedroom safe. I have you in my arms, and I won’t let anything happen to you I promise” AJ kept talking in that vein, seeing Kevin slowly come out of the nightmare. 

“AJ?” Kevin whispered, his eyes clearing. The younger man nodded his head, looking down at the older man. 

“I’m right here Kevin. I got you, you know that” AJ rubbed his hand on Kevin’s cheek, wiping the tears away. 

“I’m sorry, so sorry I’m so weak” Kevin realized what had happened, and his face crumpled, tears renewing. 

“Kev, you aren’t weak at all. You were raped, brutally, a year ago. You need time to heal from that, and I knew this. You are the bravest person I know” AJ rocked the older man, wiping the tears again. 

“Not brave. Thought I could do it, but I can’t. Now I’ve left you leaking, and killed the mood” Kevin shook his head, and looked at AJ’s leaking, full cock. AJ sighed and pulled Kevin’s head up to look at him. 

“You are brave, and I am so sorry I didn’t notice when you panicked in the beginning. I should have kept my eyes on you, and I didn’t. That is my fault” AJ cursed himself for not paying attention to the man under him. 

Kevin whimpered and laid in AJ’s arms, trying to push the memories down completely. AJ tightened his hold and got the two of them into the bathroom, cleaning them both up. Both men’s erections wilted, and they got back in bed, both wearing pajama pants and t-shirts. 

“I really thought I was ready, but I’m not. I can’t believe I led you on AJ, I feel like shit” Kevin hated that his memories had creeped back up, and AJ shook his head. 

“You didn’t lead me on Kevin. I knew this might happen. We need to ease into sexual play. I should have realized we may have been going too quickly. Let’s just continue with our kisses and making out for a little while longer. You set the pace love, I will follow. Please stop beating yourself up, it’s alright love” AJ spoke lovingly and soothingly, running his hand through Kevin’s dark hair. 

“I understand AJ, it just sucks. I thought I had put the rape behind me. Now you have to use your hand for a longer period of time. I haven’t even tried to jerk myself off since the rape. I’m too scared” Kevin admitted, and AJ’s eyes widened. 

If Kevin couldn’t jerk himself off, how could he think he was ready for penetrative sex? AJ shook his head at the thought, and just tightened his hold on his lover. He was fine with having to use his hand, and he would do it for as long as it took Kevin to move on. 

“Kev, I told you that I would stick by you, and I intend to keep that promise. I will do whatever it takes to show you that I’m serious, and I will be with you through all the ups and downs with the aftermath” AJ vowed. Kevin nodded and laid in AJ’s arms, going quiet.

The two snuggled and AJ held Kevin in his arms, just keeping him close, and his hold tight. Kevin knew that he had to make up for tonight, and vowed to work on himself more, to try and move past the rape. AJ knew that his love was stubborn, and he would be having more talks with Kevin soon. Kevin fell asleep in AJ’s arms, hoping that AJ would forgive him for tonight, not realizing that there was nothing for AJ to forgive. 


End file.
